In a speech, there is what we say…and everything we don’t say. Verbal control is common, we always pay attention to what we say and how we say it. But controlling our non-verbal communication is much more complicated. It is always impressive to discover what we can make our gestures and voice say. This leads to a harmful reflex that consists of eliminating the non-verbal cues and creating disembodied speakers, who only transmit words that we don’t listen to and sentences that don’t reach anyone.
But they cannot escape the scrutiny of analysts. And there is always something to say… So, we comb through the position of their hands, their eyes, the way they hold their head… But by dint of making the unsaid speak, we can make someone say anything. Here-in lies the danger of over-interpretation. It’s one thing to spot a non-verbal cue, it’s another to give it meaning and origin. When a speaker appears uncertain or nervous because he’s looking away and his hands are shaking, does he doubt his message or the reception he will receive? Is he lying or is he under the pressure of a dreaded exercise? Despite the confidence of many analysts, we must not forget that it’s usually impossible to judge.
There is only one way to stop this vicious circle: sincerity! It’s awful to feel you’re being too mushy by believing that you must express yourself with sincerity when speaking in pubic. This doesn’t mean that you have to say everything, all the time and to everyone! It doesn’t even mean that the truth is said all the time. One is sincere when one believes in what one says, when it is important to say it, when it is the best thing to say.
Being sincere doesn’t mean that we are right or that our idea is better. To be sincere is to want to defend a project, with its strengths and weaknesses. The non-verbal is not there to betray you; it is like a voice that amplifies your purpose and warms up your thinking. That is why our tools are designed to bring structure and technique to a speaker who, above all, has a sincere message to convey. We will never blame you for being tactful and knowing how to say things. We may see that you’re uncomfortable or unsatisfied with your performance, but we will also see that what you’re saying is important to you, so it will become important to others.